Enjoy this story as told by embryo adoption father Kenny Kwong.
We never wanted to have any children. Why would we want a child to consume our time, attention, energy, sleep, and money when Tety and I both had well-paid jobs that allowed us to enjoy “the good life”? We also didn’t need God because we were doing just fine without Him. What we didn’t realize was that our self-centeredness and arrogance permeated our relationship with each other as well, which nearly led to divorce in 2014 after 16 years of marriage.
It took both of us humbling ourselves and submitting to God for Him to transform our marriage and our lives in amazing ways, one of which was the inexplicable desire to have children. One night in the spring of 2015 after we started trying, I had an extremely vivid dream in which God told me that we would have a son and we were to name him Samuel. Being new to the Christian faith, we both woke up in the middle of the night and read 1 Samuel about the miraculous but prolonged path for Hannah to give birth to the prophet Samuel. Little did we realize then that God was preparing us for our own difficult path over the next two years through failed IUI, IVF, and our first embryo transfer. Throughout that season of deep disappointment and hurt, God’s Word sustained us and He surrounded us with a community of His people to encourage us.
Our second embryo transfer was going to be our last try to have a child through birth. The financial burden was certainly felt but the emotional weight was far heavier to bear. It was pure elation when we found out that we were expecting twins, and it was deep sadness when we learned a month later that one of them failed to develop further. God, after all, had promised us only Samuel, who was born in March 2018.
We realize that there are probably couples reading our story who are still in the valley as we were. We understand your anguish and despair at the thought that God’s plan for your family may not include the child you long for. Throughout our journey we were reminded of Isaiah 55:8-9 and Proverbs 3:5-6, and God used this trial to teach us that His love, goodness, and sovereignty are unfailing with or without a child.
In hindsight we realize that God’s plan and timing are far better than our own. Back in 2015 our marriage was still undergoing major repair and we didn’t have a biblical community around us. Our marriage then may not have survived the strain of caring for an infant without support. The birth of Samuel not only gave us tremendous joy, but also gave closure to our three donor families.
We are thankful for the staff of the National Embryo Donation Center, who faithfully use their talents and gifts to care for the least among us -the many thousands of frozen embryos- by giving them an opportunity to be born.