“I’m sorry, but you aren’t pregnant.” Disappointing news for potential embryo adoption parents Robert and Christy Spencer to hear on the other end of the line? Of course. Devastating? No.
They still felt like God was somehow up to something good. Their five-and-a-half-year-old-son, Noah, had spent three years praying for a little brother or sister. Specifically, “Noah had told me he wanted me to have a baby in my belly,” Christy remembers. The family felt led to keep praying, to keep pursuing a sibling for Noah, and to accept the result, whatever it was.
What the Spencers were hoping for appeared to be a bit of a tall order. Christy had never actually given birth. Noah came her and Robert’s way via domestic adoption. He’d been in their arms since he was 18 days old, following a nerve-wracking, touch-and-go adoption process and a demoralizing decade’s worth of failed fertility treatments.
“It had been difficult through the years to see so many women pregnant and talking about how amazing it was to feel this child inside of them,” Robert and Christy recall. Yet during their own arduous slog through infertility, no physician ever told Christy she couldn’t carry a child.
That was what had led the Spencers to the National Embryo Donation Center. After years of waiting to get the proverbial call from the agency again, a second domestic adoption that once looked promising had just fallen through. As they kept praying about a sibling for Noah, they felt God’s leading toward a new path. The idea of actually being pregnant with their next adopted child was thrilling, and they knew God could potentially use the NEDC to make that happen.
Robert and Christy felt confident embryo adoption through the NEDC was their new path. But there they were, in May 2018, taking in the news that their first frozen embryo transfer (FET) was unsuccessful. Now accustomed to setbacks on their family-building journey, Robert and Christy resolutely looked forward. “Our next transfer month was July, and we had decided that would be it,” Christy says. “If we did not get pregnant, we were done, as we felt God had only led us to try twice.” Noah fervently continued the prayers for a baby in his mother’s belly.
Joyous News, Tempered
The results of their second FET were much better. Tests revealed Christy was indeed pregnant! Even that joyous news, though, was soon accompanied by disappointment. At first Christy was carrying twins, but subsequent tests showed one did not have a heartbeat. “We knew God’s will was perfect, though we didn’t understand,” the Spencers say. Again, amid some shock and grief, they moved forward and directed their focus to the baby who was still growing.
“My baby, my baby is here!”
Finally, at 37 weeks, Christy delivered a healthy baby boy they named Hezekiah; Kai, for short. “The first time Noah saw Kai at the hospital was priceless!” Robert and Christy share. “He walked into the room, his eyes lit up, and the words out of his mouth were, ‘My baby, my baby is here!’” Noah at last had the sibling for whom he had so long prayed. Kai, the Spencers say, adores his big brother and laughs at him constantly.
Broken Yet Beautiful
When Robert and Christy first met 25 years ago, they couldn’t have possibly imagined the broken yet beautiful road ahead. Enlarging their family didn’t come easily at any point. No other avenue, though, would have led them to these two boys- the exact ones God has called them to steward. Adding to their sense of fulfillment, the Spencers have also lived out their life-affirming convictions by getting precious embryos out of frozen limbo. “We cannot say enough about how both of these children have enriched our lives, and how our Lord has used the NEDC to not only grow our family, but give these embryos a chance! God is so good!”